Wow, Wednesday, and no blog yet for the week. Well, first-and-foremost on my mind has been the past weeekend's playoff games. I got to watch both of them in their entirety, and after watching them both, can honestly say that I suck at calling football games. I was 50% in straight game picks, but the overriding factor is just that I was so far off as to the how and the why. I got the four point win for the Colts, but expected that score not to reflect how lopsided the game was. Instead, the score did not indicate how CLOSELY the game was played.
Granted, there is something to be said for dome teams losing conference championship games outdoors, especially when said game happens in the cold and snow, but I really didn't expect it to have that much of a factor. Then again, Chicago was riding the tails of an unseasonably warm stretch, so had that continued, the outcome may have been different. Between the rash of turnovers and bad/missed calls, the Saints never had a chance in the game. Reggie Bush has been chastised all week for "taunting" on his touchdown reception, but guess what -- if I had just beaten FOUR of the opposing teams' defenders (on a "great" defense, mind you), and I was so much faster than all of them that I COULD taunt them while still outrunning them, I'd do it, too.
What I don't understand is how the Bears have put up monster offensive outings in both of their playoff games. I've watched this team all year, and I thought that after week 5 or so, teams had figured out their offense enough to put a stop to over-the-top passes by Grossman. Guess not.
As for the Indy/Pats game, I have to say, it was one of the greatest games I've ever watched. I actually like Peyton Manning and the Colts these days, and I am SO utterly sick of hearing about the Patriots (and seeing Coach Billy's poor fashion and his kids on the sidelines), so the first half was just GUT-wrenching to watch. I was close to going home and working out instead of staying for the second half, but something compelled me to stay. It's as if I actually BELIEVED that a comeback could happen.
Then, the Colts come out of the half, and played like they had gotten their heads cut off at halftime. Everything was rushed. Everything was in panic mode. There was no balance.
Actually, the beatiful part of it was that none of that happened. They came out and just played football. They staged drives that were balanced. They got first downs instead of going for touchdowns. They took sacks instead of firing up prayers that got picked off. And in the end, they proved that they belong on the big stage. After the first two TDs of the second half that pulled the Colts even with the Pats, I was interested to see where Billy-boy would go. Usually, Billy's got the answer to "stop the bleeding". While the Pats did pick it up on both sides of the ball, the defense still allowed more points than the offense could muster, and in the end, the "dynasty" was stopped for the season.
As a matter of fact, the Patriots actually surprised me at how BAD their play selection was at the end of the game. Several drives with under six minutes left in the game when they were tied and/or ahead, and the passes just kept coming, at a time when running the clock out was as valuable as anything. The thing that first bothered me about the Patriots was after their first Super Bowl win (against the highly-favored Rams). After the game, Billy was spouting off about how they were always confident that they were the better team. Yet, with a minute to go in overtime, they frantically tried to win the game. While that strategy WORKED for them, it does not mean it was the correct strategy. A team that BELIEVES they are the better team would not risk a costly turnover in that situation, and just let "regular" football in overtime decide that the better team wins. But in this case, it seemed like the opposite. It seemed like the Pats were convinced that they could not stop the Colt machine, so they were playing to score instead of playing to win, which, in the end, not surprisingly, cost them the win. Play to win, and the chances of winning are usually higher -- a rule I never thought I'd see Billy going against.
So Colts-Bears Superbowl. Three weeks ago, I'd have said no NFC team would come within 18 point of the AFC team in the Superbowl. I still don't think that the NFC will come out on top, but I could see the Bears making this a closer game than I care to realize. I WANT the Colts to win, and I EXPECT the Colts to win. Heck, I'll go out on a limb and say I expect the Colts to win BIG. I just have seen too much football in the past two weekends to think that I will know how a game will play out.
G'night
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
The wonders of a modern vehicle
I'm about as disgusted as disgusted gets right now at the service I'm receiving from the company in the last post. I can't believe companies can run like that and still be in business.
Anyway, on my drive to/from work the last couple days, I realized that I will never again be able to manage driving a vehicle long-term without steering wheel radio controls. Cruise control I never use, but I'd die without my steering wheel radio controls. And I've almost gotten used to them already. I only have 48K on my vehicle, and I rarely hit a wrong button anymore. It seems like kind of a strange thing to be dependent on in a vehicle, but I'd seriously be lost without my steering wheel radio controls.
Which leads me to another aspect of my vehicle that's become not a "nice-to-have", but a "requirement" -- automatic lights. I can count on one hand how many times I've touched the light switch on my current vehicle (48K miles), and the times I have were likely just playing around or testing them against a tailgate when I'm bored or something. I have terrible short-term memory, so remembering to turn them on or off always tended to be a problem, and I hate when vehicles beep uncontrollably about certain things, so by not ever turning my lights on, I never have to remember to turn them off, and this prevents my vehicle from having to yell at me.
One last thing that's nice about current vehicles is remote keyless entry. If used right, you'll never ever lock your keys in the car again. The way I use it is that I never, ever manually lock the doors -- I always lock them from the outside after the doors are shut. This means that my keys cannot get inside the vehicle after the point of locking the doors. Every once in awhile, when I go for a run, I only take the vehicle key and not the remote, so I'm forced to either lock the doors before shutting them, or else lock them via key from the outside. I don't waste the effort with the key, but I usually do check at least twice to ensure I have the key, once before I "lock", and once before I "close". It's more of a hassle than the remote, I can tell ya that.
Anyway, I shouldn't really be posting this, since it really has no entertainment value, but it's been something on my mind lately, and it beats writing about crappy customer service. My mind isn't in creative mode, and my life isn't in exciting mode. I had fun with my bowling team last night, but I didn't even bowl. We went to a different place and had some drinks afterwards, and, despite having my arse parked on a barstool next to a beautiful woman who was buying me drinks, I made myself leave before any of my cohorts. It made for a much more enjoyable day today than it would have been (unless perhaps I'd have woken up next to her and called in sick with the beer flu). I've found it's much more pleasant to sleep off a hangover than work through one. Why I continue to collect data points on the matter, I'm not sure.
GoHome
Anyway, on my drive to/from work the last couple days, I realized that I will never again be able to manage driving a vehicle long-term without steering wheel radio controls. Cruise control I never use, but I'd die without my steering wheel radio controls. And I've almost gotten used to them already. I only have 48K on my vehicle, and I rarely hit a wrong button anymore. It seems like kind of a strange thing to be dependent on in a vehicle, but I'd seriously be lost without my steering wheel radio controls.
Which leads me to another aspect of my vehicle that's become not a "nice-to-have", but a "requirement" -- automatic lights. I can count on one hand how many times I've touched the light switch on my current vehicle (48K miles), and the times I have were likely just playing around or testing them against a tailgate when I'm bored or something. I have terrible short-term memory, so remembering to turn them on or off always tended to be a problem, and I hate when vehicles beep uncontrollably about certain things, so by not ever turning my lights on, I never have to remember to turn them off, and this prevents my vehicle from having to yell at me.
One last thing that's nice about current vehicles is remote keyless entry. If used right, you'll never ever lock your keys in the car again. The way I use it is that I never, ever manually lock the doors -- I always lock them from the outside after the doors are shut. This means that my keys cannot get inside the vehicle after the point of locking the doors. Every once in awhile, when I go for a run, I only take the vehicle key and not the remote, so I'm forced to either lock the doors before shutting them, or else lock them via key from the outside. I don't waste the effort with the key, but I usually do check at least twice to ensure I have the key, once before I "lock", and once before I "close". It's more of a hassle than the remote, I can tell ya that.
Anyway, I shouldn't really be posting this, since it really has no entertainment value, but it's been something on my mind lately, and it beats writing about crappy customer service. My mind isn't in creative mode, and my life isn't in exciting mode. I had fun with my bowling team last night, but I didn't even bowl. We went to a different place and had some drinks afterwards, and, despite having my arse parked on a barstool next to a beautiful woman who was buying me drinks, I made myself leave before any of my cohorts. It made for a much more enjoyable day today than it would have been (unless perhaps I'd have woken up next to her and called in sick with the beer flu). I've found it's much more pleasant to sleep off a hangover than work through one. Why I continue to collect data points on the matter, I'm not sure.
GoHome
Customer service? What's that?
Ah, the sweet neglect of a newborn blog. If it were a child, protective services would come take it away from me. In the interest of furthering my employment, though, I had to take Friday and Tuesday off of blogging to focus on tackling the task(s) at hand, and the end of the day just crept up on me Wednesday. Incidentally, if anyone knows how to get .NET to pass an SQL query that includes parameters that are NOT compared to fields (or columns, if you will) to MSSQL, let me know. I ended up kind of cheating. It took more code and three data adapters instead of one, but I made it work, and no one is the wiser (especially me, since there HAS to be a way to make it work the way I wanted, but hells if I can figure it out).
In other news, I have decided to forego overall triathlon training for the next few months to focus on improving my run times. While this method won't increase my swim or bike times as much as regular training would, if I increase my run pace by a minute per mile or more, I think my overall performance will improve more than regular training, since the run is where I lose most of my time to people I should be beating. I had a high school track/cc coach give me a 20-week plan that basically involves running EVERY day, although it does stress biking as well to help balance out leg muscles to help prevent injury and assist in endurance training. What it'll amount to is AT LEAST five days a week running, and either fitting in biking (and later, swimming) on off days or as two-fors (cross-training days).
In an effort to separate myself from other blogs/bloggers, I have decided to NOT blog about either the new season of 24 or the Golden Globe awards (or, likely, the new season of American Idol). My decision works out well for me, since I have no interest in any of the above programs, and, even if I did, would find it hard to watch them, since I ditched my cable television last May. The cable company really pissed me off, and DSL had become available in my area, and I don't really watch anything on television anyway, so I dropped everything. Digital cable, DVR, cable internet, et al. The last straw was the company telling me a supervisor would call me back within an hour. I waited an hour, missing out on a run in that hour, and there was no call.
First rule of call centers is that there should ALWAYS be a supervisor available to speak to. As a company, the LAST thing you want to do, if you want to keep customers, is to make them call in, wait on hold for an extended period, then have them talk to operators who have no authority to help them, and then be told that they can't talk with a supervisor. "They'll call you back" is actually much, much worse than "they won't call you back". Holding out hope only adds anxiety, which can cause a range of stressful emotions. Being bluntly told you are being sent into a black hole will only cause anger. Anger breeds revenge. Companies with terrible customer service deserve to have revenge brought on them. Luckily, the BBB will do this free-of-charge, and with no curse words. Dangling the prospect of actually talking to a supervisor in front of callers' faces with nothing ever coming of it is an absolute slap in the face to consumers. I'm convinced they don't exist.
Anyway, the cable company had pulled the supervisor trick on me more than once. Other companies have pulled the supervisor trick on me (one of them ended up with a BBB complaint against them that they promptly bent over backwards to take care of, btw -- which leads me to another point: customer service/relations always claim to not have authority to do stuff, needing supervisor input, UNTIL the BBB becomes involved. Then, suddenly, things happen all quick-like.). But since there was no real "money" vs "product" in the case of the cable company, the simplest way to deal with it was just to stop feeding them $120 a month for things I could easily replace or live without.
Anyway, if a company jerks you around, don't waste your valuable time and effort. Get the BBB involved. And one person asked me if the big companies even care. Actually, I think the biggest companies are the ones that care the most. Usually, for mere pocket change to them, they can prevent a bad BBB reputation. On the flip side, with a bad BBB reputation, it could prevent the sale of MANY units, costing them far more in profit than the replacement/repair/refund of whatever merchandise the complaint is about.
So, anyway, in my current case, the BBB has already been notified. I'm currently waiting to talk to a "supervisor". Yeah, right. I know better than that. The latest is that they told me I needed to fax a document to them before the supervisor would look at the case. Well, the fax number doesn't work. Har har har. Giving me an impossible task to enable communications with a supervisor. They may as well have farted and told me to catch it and paint it green. Ya know, if I don't get this resolved with just the company, and the BBB has to pressure them, I'll reveal the company here. It's quite a riveting tale. I spent two hours on hold this morning before hanging up, never having spoken to a real person. This. Company. Sucks. Rocks.
Hasta.
In other news, I have decided to forego overall triathlon training for the next few months to focus on improving my run times. While this method won't increase my swim or bike times as much as regular training would, if I increase my run pace by a minute per mile or more, I think my overall performance will improve more than regular training, since the run is where I lose most of my time to people I should be beating. I had a high school track/cc coach give me a 20-week plan that basically involves running EVERY day, although it does stress biking as well to help balance out leg muscles to help prevent injury and assist in endurance training. What it'll amount to is AT LEAST five days a week running, and either fitting in biking (and later, swimming) on off days or as two-fors (cross-training days).
In an effort to separate myself from other blogs/bloggers, I have decided to NOT blog about either the new season of 24 or the Golden Globe awards (or, likely, the new season of American Idol). My decision works out well for me, since I have no interest in any of the above programs, and, even if I did, would find it hard to watch them, since I ditched my cable television last May. The cable company really pissed me off, and DSL had become available in my area, and I don't really watch anything on television anyway, so I dropped everything. Digital cable, DVR, cable internet, et al. The last straw was the company telling me a supervisor would call me back within an hour. I waited an hour, missing out on a run in that hour, and there was no call.
First rule of call centers is that there should ALWAYS be a supervisor available to speak to. As a company, the LAST thing you want to do, if you want to keep customers, is to make them call in, wait on hold for an extended period, then have them talk to operators who have no authority to help them, and then be told that they can't talk with a supervisor. "They'll call you back" is actually much, much worse than "they won't call you back". Holding out hope only adds anxiety, which can cause a range of stressful emotions. Being bluntly told you are being sent into a black hole will only cause anger. Anger breeds revenge. Companies with terrible customer service deserve to have revenge brought on them. Luckily, the BBB will do this free-of-charge, and with no curse words. Dangling the prospect of actually talking to a supervisor in front of callers' faces with nothing ever coming of it is an absolute slap in the face to consumers. I'm convinced they don't exist.
Anyway, the cable company had pulled the supervisor trick on me more than once. Other companies have pulled the supervisor trick on me (one of them ended up with a BBB complaint against them that they promptly bent over backwards to take care of, btw -- which leads me to another point: customer service/relations always claim to not have authority to do stuff, needing supervisor input, UNTIL the BBB becomes involved. Then, suddenly, things happen all quick-like.). But since there was no real "money" vs "product" in the case of the cable company, the simplest way to deal with it was just to stop feeding them $120 a month for things I could easily replace or live without.
Anyway, if a company jerks you around, don't waste your valuable time and effort. Get the BBB involved. And one person asked me if the big companies even care. Actually, I think the biggest companies are the ones that care the most. Usually, for mere pocket change to them, they can prevent a bad BBB reputation. On the flip side, with a bad BBB reputation, it could prevent the sale of MANY units, costing them far more in profit than the replacement/repair/refund of whatever merchandise the complaint is about.
So, anyway, in my current case, the BBB has already been notified. I'm currently waiting to talk to a "supervisor". Yeah, right. I know better than that. The latest is that they told me I needed to fax a document to them before the supervisor would look at the case. Well, the fax number doesn't work. Har har har. Giving me an impossible task to enable communications with a supervisor. They may as well have farted and told me to catch it and paint it green. Ya know, if I don't get this resolved with just the company, and the BBB has to pressure them, I'll reveal the company here. It's quite a riveting tale. I spent two hours on hold this morning before hanging up, never having spoken to a real person. This. Company. Sucks. Rocks.
Hasta.
Monday, January 15, 2007
Playoffs? Don't talk about Playoffs!
So Friday, work got in the way of blogging. That's just wrong. As such, I did not get a chance to make predictions on the weekend's games.
What can I say? Saturday's NFL games were a joy to watch, and Sunday's NFL games made me sick to my stomach. Seriously, both Sunday games required meltdowns by the losing team in order to stick the winning team with a win. Chicago had several BIG passing plays (might I remind you, Rex Grossman was throwing these passes), and New England got lucky several different ways, benefiting from no-calls, personal fouls, and wacky turnovers. New England got severely outplayed by the Chargers, and walked away a winner, while Chicago looked similar to the Seahawks, but got the benefit of several big pass receptions that don't always fall their way.
San Diego could not get any pressure on the QB, nor could their coaches formulate any semblance of a game plan. Between 2:30 of the 3rd quarter and 2:30 of the 4th quarter, New England ran exactly one run play, and that was while the clock was not running, as it was the two-point conversion to tie the game -- and that was a TRICK PLAY, a direct snap to Faulk. In the meantime, they ran 22 pass plays, one of them being a sack on Brady. Only after New England completed a long pass play to put themselves in position for the go-ahead FG did they finally try to run the ball again. If San Diego's coaches are not smart enough to know that the Pats can manage the clock, and will continue to (only) pass the ball until they have the game in hand, then San Diego deserves to lose, no matter how much better of a team they are. We also know what we need to work on over the off-season. COACHING.
Saturday's games, however, displayed some real tough-nose football. The Ravens-Colts tilt gave new meaning to defensive battle. Actually, Baltimore's defense didn't do particularly terrible, but they also didn't hold the Colts to many punts or turnovers. They had a few chances at turnovers that they just didn't get, and the Colts offense just kept dinking their way down the field, turning blitzes into yards most of the time. Philly looked extremely good for having an injury-riddled season and backup QB, but they just couldn't match the firepower of the Saints in the end. Big plays by Deuce and Bush were key in turning Philly away.
In a generic prediction, let me just say that I believe that whatever AFC team went to the Superbowl out of the four teams going into this past weekend would have beaten any of the remaining NFC teams going into the weekend, and this weekend's games don't change that prediction. As for Conference Champions, I say the Saints roll over Chicago, and Indy rolls at home over the Pats. I don't feel the Bears or Pats were the better team in their respective games this past weekend -- there's no reason to believe they're any better than the teams they'll be playing this weekend.
In greater detail, here's how I see the games play out. In the Pats/Colts game, I'm a firm believer that the blitz can get to Peyton Manning, but more often than not, constant blitzing of the Colts will only result in long completed pass plays. Take a game with 6 big blitz plays. If all six succeed as best they can, resulting in sacks and/or turnovers, you can hope to handily beat the Colts, say 35-14. If all six are contained, and they result in short dump passes with YAC, you can expect to get trampled, say 49-10. The trick is to place those blitzes where they will be best met, which is really more luck than anything, although masking the blitz packages does go a long way toward confusing Manning and increasing the likelihood of success. I think Indy has finally seen enough of New England and their packages, plus the added benefit of playing at home, that they'll roll.
For the Bears to beat New Orleans, I think three things combined will net a sure win for the Bears. If they score at least one offensive touchdown, score at least one defensive or special teams touchdown, and if they have either zero turnovers, or at the most one turnover while the Saints have at least two, the Bears will win the game. If they don't satisfy all of those criteria, I think they'll have trouble beating the Saints.
Predictions: Indy 30, New England 24 in a game that's not as close as the score. New Orleans 35, Chicago 13.
Good Luck
What can I say? Saturday's NFL games were a joy to watch, and Sunday's NFL games made me sick to my stomach. Seriously, both Sunday games required meltdowns by the losing team in order to stick the winning team with a win. Chicago had several BIG passing plays (might I remind you, Rex Grossman was throwing these passes), and New England got lucky several different ways, benefiting from no-calls, personal fouls, and wacky turnovers. New England got severely outplayed by the Chargers, and walked away a winner, while Chicago looked similar to the Seahawks, but got the benefit of several big pass receptions that don't always fall their way.
San Diego could not get any pressure on the QB, nor could their coaches formulate any semblance of a game plan. Between 2:30 of the 3rd quarter and 2:30 of the 4th quarter, New England ran exactly one run play, and that was while the clock was not running, as it was the two-point conversion to tie the game -- and that was a TRICK PLAY, a direct snap to Faulk. In the meantime, they ran 22 pass plays, one of them being a sack on Brady. Only after New England completed a long pass play to put themselves in position for the go-ahead FG did they finally try to run the ball again. If San Diego's coaches are not smart enough to know that the Pats can manage the clock, and will continue to (only) pass the ball until they have the game in hand, then San Diego deserves to lose, no matter how much better of a team they are. We also know what we need to work on over the off-season. COACHING.
Saturday's games, however, displayed some real tough-nose football. The Ravens-Colts tilt gave new meaning to defensive battle. Actually, Baltimore's defense didn't do particularly terrible, but they also didn't hold the Colts to many punts or turnovers. They had a few chances at turnovers that they just didn't get, and the Colts offense just kept dinking their way down the field, turning blitzes into yards most of the time. Philly looked extremely good for having an injury-riddled season and backup QB, but they just couldn't match the firepower of the Saints in the end. Big plays by Deuce and Bush were key in turning Philly away.
In a generic prediction, let me just say that I believe that whatever AFC team went to the Superbowl out of the four teams going into this past weekend would have beaten any of the remaining NFC teams going into the weekend, and this weekend's games don't change that prediction. As for Conference Champions, I say the Saints roll over Chicago, and Indy rolls at home over the Pats. I don't feel the Bears or Pats were the better team in their respective games this past weekend -- there's no reason to believe they're any better than the teams they'll be playing this weekend.
In greater detail, here's how I see the games play out. In the Pats/Colts game, I'm a firm believer that the blitz can get to Peyton Manning, but more often than not, constant blitzing of the Colts will only result in long completed pass plays. Take a game with 6 big blitz plays. If all six succeed as best they can, resulting in sacks and/or turnovers, you can hope to handily beat the Colts, say 35-14. If all six are contained, and they result in short dump passes with YAC, you can expect to get trampled, say 49-10. The trick is to place those blitzes where they will be best met, which is really more luck than anything, although masking the blitz packages does go a long way toward confusing Manning and increasing the likelihood of success. I think Indy has finally seen enough of New England and their packages, plus the added benefit of playing at home, that they'll roll.
For the Bears to beat New Orleans, I think three things combined will net a sure win for the Bears. If they score at least one offensive touchdown, score at least one defensive or special teams touchdown, and if they have either zero turnovers, or at the most one turnover while the Saints have at least two, the Bears will win the game. If they don't satisfy all of those criteria, I think they'll have trouble beating the Saints.
Predictions: Indy 30, New England 24 in a game that's not as close as the score. New Orleans 35, Chicago 13.
Good Luck
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Big Pickle
So I got a review today. I found out that I'm a good technical writer and that I am good at technical aspects of my job. Considering that my job is technical, I'd say that's a positive. Unfortunately, the raise that goes with the review wasn't really spectacular enough to turn heads. It more than covers the increase of the Roth IRA max contribution for this year, but let's just say that I won't be going out and buying that 42-foot yacht just yet.
I really need to come up with that whirlwind idea to make millions soon. Powerball's up to $155 million this weekend, so maybe I'll strike it rich there. Luckily for me, I have a job that's so stimulating and rewarding that I'd keep it even if I won that much money. (GAG)
I think if I won the big money lottery, I'd hire someone to blog for me. Preferably someone who has posed for Playboy within the last five years. There's nothing more I'd like to be than a sexist employer. I mean, being a racist employer would be ok, I suppose, but being a sexist employer would be much better. I mean, imagine standing in front of a judge defending yourself, saying something like, "If it's not perfectly acceptable to make comments about how ridiculously large her breasts are, then why did she have her breasts made that ridiculously large?" It may not win the favor of the court, but it would make me laugh inside. Maybe outside, too. Even if it didn't, I'd be rich, so I could buy laughter, the same way I'd be able to buy happiness. And a big pickle when I go to Jimmy John's.
On a different note, the bathroom here has one of those seeing-eye faucets. You know, the kind that lead the blind around and are allowed in restaurants and such even when regular faucets are not? Or maybe I'm talking about the kind that don't have any knobs and are turned on when you walk up to them (kind like a nympho). Well the one in the bathroom here is almost like it's controlled by a human. A human who has a death wish (sentence fragment alert!). The thing just randomly turns on when you stand in front of it. Your hands don't even need to be anywhere near the faucet area. Then, just as you're about to rinse the last of the soap off of your hands, it shuts off and won't turn back on until you step away and let it reset for twenty seconds.
Every once in awhile, it even gets confused by its own spray. The faucet has such a fine end on it that it sprays really hard and fine, and tiny droplets of water go spraying everywhere. The droplets eventually cover up the seeing eye, and then it can't sense that there's nothing there anymore, so it just keeps going.
There may be a place for automatic faucets (airports, McDonald's, etc.), but I don't believe the office environment is that place. Just let me control the damn water flow. And the flushing. If anything should be automatic in the bathroom, it's the soap dispenser, because it's so attractive to just extend your hand and have some nozzle shoot gooey liquid into your palm.
Keep it clean, kids.
I really need to come up with that whirlwind idea to make millions soon. Powerball's up to $155 million this weekend, so maybe I'll strike it rich there. Luckily for me, I have a job that's so stimulating and rewarding that I'd keep it even if I won that much money. (GAG)
I think if I won the big money lottery, I'd hire someone to blog for me. Preferably someone who has posed for Playboy within the last five years. There's nothing more I'd like to be than a sexist employer. I mean, being a racist employer would be ok, I suppose, but being a sexist employer would be much better. I mean, imagine standing in front of a judge defending yourself, saying something like, "If it's not perfectly acceptable to make comments about how ridiculously large her breasts are, then why did she have her breasts made that ridiculously large?" It may not win the favor of the court, but it would make me laugh inside. Maybe outside, too. Even if it didn't, I'd be rich, so I could buy laughter, the same way I'd be able to buy happiness. And a big pickle when I go to Jimmy John's.
On a different note, the bathroom here has one of those seeing-eye faucets. You know, the kind that lead the blind around and are allowed in restaurants and such even when regular faucets are not? Or maybe I'm talking about the kind that don't have any knobs and are turned on when you walk up to them (kind like a nympho). Well the one in the bathroom here is almost like it's controlled by a human. A human who has a death wish (sentence fragment alert!). The thing just randomly turns on when you stand in front of it. Your hands don't even need to be anywhere near the faucet area. Then, just as you're about to rinse the last of the soap off of your hands, it shuts off and won't turn back on until you step away and let it reset for twenty seconds.
Every once in awhile, it even gets confused by its own spray. The faucet has such a fine end on it that it sprays really hard and fine, and tiny droplets of water go spraying everywhere. The droplets eventually cover up the seeing eye, and then it can't sense that there's nothing there anymore, so it just keeps going.
There may be a place for automatic faucets (airports, McDonald's, etc.), but I don't believe the office environment is that place. Just let me control the damn water flow. And the flushing. If anything should be automatic in the bathroom, it's the soap dispenser, because it's so attractive to just extend your hand and have some nozzle shoot gooey liquid into your palm.
Keep it clean, kids.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Time management
"Mark it down". I was just told to "mark it down". A random date in February. I never "mark it down". It's been many years since I kept any kind of a calendar. That went out of style for me about the time dates and times became less important for me. In the way-way back, I had to make sure I showed up on time for alot of different things. And it was at that point that I began to use a day planner. And I'd write down things in said day planner. Then, as my obligation to these different activities ceased, so did the use of a day planner for me.
Since then, "write it down" basically has the same meaning as "forget it in twenty seconds" to me. If it's important, I'll be reminded of whatever event it is later. I learned something in the way-way back. Most things just aren't important enough to worry about. Sure, I try my hardest to remember to send a card for my Mom's birthday, and to show up for a dentist appointment, and to meet people at the bar for trivia, but that's as far as it goes. Living and dying by the clock just isn't all it's cracked up to be. I show up some mornings half an hour early for work, and I show up some mornings half an hour late for work. I'm hourly, so I don't really care, and neither do the people I work for.
That said, I'd like to note that I still like to get where I have to go when I have somewhere to go. The asshat that was driving ten mph under the speed limit in front of me last night gets awarded no points. Seriously, 35 mph is slow enough in a 25 mph speed zone. 25 mph in a 35 mph zone is just excruciating. And these were winding, two-lane roads, with hills/cliffs and trees on either side, so no chance to pass.
I try to keep myself out of "wolfpacks" while driving as much as anyone, so this is an extra bad situation, since not only am I frustrated to have a 40-minute drive home from work at 10 mph OVER the speed limit and I'm now forced to go 10 mph UNDER the speed limit, but at 10 mph under the speed limit with no chance to pass, cars pile up quickly behind the slow guy, even on sparsely-populated roadways, leading to said wolfpack. So, here I was in a situation where there's bound to be a bunch of cars piling up behind me, and likely including drivers who are more upset/frustrated/in-a-hurry than I am. Luckily, I only had to follow the bonehead for about five minutes before there was the world's shortest passing zone and no oncoming traffic (at least one passing zone -- another very short one -- had gone by where oncoming traffic was way too thick to pass), so I was able to power past the slow car. And surprisingly, there was no one piled up behind me in that time, so I didn't have to watch for other drivers trying to double-pass.
Anyhoo, that was a quick path to the end of this post. It's plenty long, and I'm plenty tired, currently battling a food coma to try to stay awake. Guess that makes the end of my post.
Drive safe, y'all.
Since then, "write it down" basically has the same meaning as "forget it in twenty seconds" to me. If it's important, I'll be reminded of whatever event it is later. I learned something in the way-way back. Most things just aren't important enough to worry about. Sure, I try my hardest to remember to send a card for my Mom's birthday, and to show up for a dentist appointment, and to meet people at the bar for trivia, but that's as far as it goes. Living and dying by the clock just isn't all it's cracked up to be. I show up some mornings half an hour early for work, and I show up some mornings half an hour late for work. I'm hourly, so I don't really care, and neither do the people I work for.
That said, I'd like to note that I still like to get where I have to go when I have somewhere to go. The asshat that was driving ten mph under the speed limit in front of me last night gets awarded no points. Seriously, 35 mph is slow enough in a 25 mph speed zone. 25 mph in a 35 mph zone is just excruciating. And these were winding, two-lane roads, with hills/cliffs and trees on either side, so no chance to pass.
I try to keep myself out of "wolfpacks" while driving as much as anyone, so this is an extra bad situation, since not only am I frustrated to have a 40-minute drive home from work at 10 mph OVER the speed limit and I'm now forced to go 10 mph UNDER the speed limit, but at 10 mph under the speed limit with no chance to pass, cars pile up quickly behind the slow guy, even on sparsely-populated roadways, leading to said wolfpack. So, here I was in a situation where there's bound to be a bunch of cars piling up behind me, and likely including drivers who are more upset/frustrated/in-a-hurry than I am. Luckily, I only had to follow the bonehead for about five minutes before there was the world's shortest passing zone and no oncoming traffic (at least one passing zone -- another very short one -- had gone by where oncoming traffic was way too thick to pass), so I was able to power past the slow car. And surprisingly, there was no one piled up behind me in that time, so I didn't have to watch for other drivers trying to double-pass.
Anyhoo, that was a quick path to the end of this post. It's plenty long, and I'm plenty tired, currently battling a food coma to try to stay awake. Guess that makes the end of my post.
Drive safe, y'all.
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Snakes on a MFin Plane
As promised, my own personal review of Snakes on a Plane. Or, as I typed the first time, Snakes on a Plan. Who needs "E" anyway? I can guess "Alex Karras in Webster" using just Q's and the Batman symbol. Wow, my first Family Guy reference. Who knew it'd take this long? I feel like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Take that, Atlas. Carry that M-F'er for eternity.
So I started watching Snakes on a Plane between the football games on Sunday. I (hell, ANYONE) can use that internet thingy to acquire almost any movie as soon as it shows up in the theater (albeit usually not good quality), but I don't watch much for movies, so I don't exercise that ability without a gun pointed at my head. For most movies, if I actually want to see them, I'll just go to the theater. But this one, I waited for the DVD to come out. So we pop it in between games and watch the first 15 minutes of it. Much of the action in the first 15 minutes is fast-moving and doesn't make much sense right away, but becomes clear later on in the movie. My suggestion is to not play with a dog during the first 15 minutes. I made that mistake, and I missed a guy's head get bashed in with a baseball bat. Oops.
From here on out, let me just say, I take no responsibility for spoiler material. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to write, but it could potentially ruin the movie for you if you've not seen it, so if you want to watch it without bias, STOP READING. a.k.a. SPOILER ALERT.
So there were several things that either didn't make sense in the movie, or were just totally unnecessary. Having the young couple join the mile high club shortly before joining the six feet under club really didn't add anything to the movie aside from the gratuitous boob shots. Don't get me wrong, I think adding boobs to just about any movie is a good idea, if for no other reason than to prevent a bunch of douchebag under-agers into the theater when I go to see a movie, but in an otherwise gettin'-it-on-free movie, it was a stretch.
Then, SLJackson's FBI agent partner takes a snake hit and goes upstairs to die, and SLJ's visibly upset by this. Mr. Hard-Ass to this point in the movie, he's visibly shaken. Come on. Pussy.
Then, among all the poisonous snakes, here comes super-ultra-mega python into the mix. Yeah, like that fat bastard would fit through the standard non-door compartments to get into the regular passenger compartments.
And then, after a movie full of regular dialog, we get the "glory shot" of SLJ coming to the ultimate conclusion. "I'm sick of these mutherfuckin' snakes on this mutherfuckin' plane" Watch it. Very out of place.
And the dimwit snake farmer or whatever the hell you call him. Hmmm, I wonder if they'll be able to figure out it was him who supplied all the snakes. Gee, it took the snake expert like, what, ten seconds to come to that conclusion and drop his name? Foresight-be-damned, I'm gonna make a buck when presented with the opportunity, and I won't expect the FBI to figure out it's me.
And then, when they shoot out the plane windows, Jackson's able to shoot out the second window before he's pulled toward the hole in the plane's side. Um, after shooting out the first one, I think all motor function is put on temporary hold while the air movement balances out the pressure difference. Note to any FBI agents reading this: if you ever shoot a window out of a plane, do NOT fire a second round within seconds of firing the first. Likely, you'll end up hitting something you didn't intend to hit as your arms are swayed by massive amounts of sudden air movement.
Not to mention that, while the side of the aircraft ruptures around the windows, the seats remain planted, and HUGE stuff, like people's bodies, come rushing out the side from the rear of the plane. But they conveniently come whipping down the aisle, then take a 90 degree turn to exit out the hole in the plane. Not in my physics world, buddy.
I remember there were alot of other things I cringed at while watching this movie, but either that's enough, or I just can't remember what the other things were. Either way, after I watched the first fifteen minutes of the movie, I couldn't wait (although I did) to watch the rest of the movie. Then, after watching the next fifteen minutes, I still couldn't wait (although I did) to watch the rest of the movie. Then, when I finally concluded the movie, I couldn't wait to NOT watch the movie again. Then again, I watched the first two fifteen-minute stretches on my buddy's 62 inch HD DLP television with surround sound, and watched the rest of it on my own 20 inch tube television sans surround while looking at pseudo-porn online on my computer, but I really don't think it really factored into the entertainment value of the movie.
G'day, mate.
So I started watching Snakes on a Plane between the football games on Sunday. I (hell, ANYONE) can use that internet thingy to acquire almost any movie as soon as it shows up in the theater (albeit usually not good quality), but I don't watch much for movies, so I don't exercise that ability without a gun pointed at my head. For most movies, if I actually want to see them, I'll just go to the theater. But this one, I waited for the DVD to come out. So we pop it in between games and watch the first 15 minutes of it. Much of the action in the first 15 minutes is fast-moving and doesn't make much sense right away, but becomes clear later on in the movie. My suggestion is to not play with a dog during the first 15 minutes. I made that mistake, and I missed a guy's head get bashed in with a baseball bat. Oops.
From here on out, let me just say, I take no responsibility for spoiler material. I'm not quite sure what I'm going to write, but it could potentially ruin the movie for you if you've not seen it, so if you want to watch it without bias, STOP READING. a.k.a. SPOILER ALERT.
So there were several things that either didn't make sense in the movie, or were just totally unnecessary. Having the young couple join the mile high club shortly before joining the six feet under club really didn't add anything to the movie aside from the gratuitous boob shots. Don't get me wrong, I think adding boobs to just about any movie is a good idea, if for no other reason than to prevent a bunch of douchebag under-agers into the theater when I go to see a movie, but in an otherwise gettin'-it-on-free movie, it was a stretch.
Then, SLJackson's FBI agent partner takes a snake hit and goes upstairs to die, and SLJ's visibly upset by this. Mr. Hard-Ass to this point in the movie, he's visibly shaken. Come on. Pussy.
Then, among all the poisonous snakes, here comes super-ultra-mega python into the mix. Yeah, like that fat bastard would fit through the standard non-door compartments to get into the regular passenger compartments.
And then, after a movie full of regular dialog, we get the "glory shot" of SLJ coming to the ultimate conclusion. "I'm sick of these mutherfuckin' snakes on this mutherfuckin' plane" Watch it. Very out of place.
And the dimwit snake farmer or whatever the hell you call him. Hmmm, I wonder if they'll be able to figure out it was him who supplied all the snakes. Gee, it took the snake expert like, what, ten seconds to come to that conclusion and drop his name? Foresight-be-damned, I'm gonna make a buck when presented with the opportunity, and I won't expect the FBI to figure out it's me.
And then, when they shoot out the plane windows, Jackson's able to shoot out the second window before he's pulled toward the hole in the plane's side. Um, after shooting out the first one, I think all motor function is put on temporary hold while the air movement balances out the pressure difference. Note to any FBI agents reading this: if you ever shoot a window out of a plane, do NOT fire a second round within seconds of firing the first. Likely, you'll end up hitting something you didn't intend to hit as your arms are swayed by massive amounts of sudden air movement.
Not to mention that, while the side of the aircraft ruptures around the windows, the seats remain planted, and HUGE stuff, like people's bodies, come rushing out the side from the rear of the plane. But they conveniently come whipping down the aisle, then take a 90 degree turn to exit out the hole in the plane. Not in my physics world, buddy.
I remember there were alot of other things I cringed at while watching this movie, but either that's enough, or I just can't remember what the other things were. Either way, after I watched the first fifteen minutes of the movie, I couldn't wait (although I did) to watch the rest of the movie. Then, after watching the next fifteen minutes, I still couldn't wait (although I did) to watch the rest of the movie. Then, when I finally concluded the movie, I couldn't wait to NOT watch the movie again. Then again, I watched the first two fifteen-minute stretches on my buddy's 62 inch HD DLP television with surround sound, and watched the rest of it on my own 20 inch tube television sans surround while looking at pseudo-porn online on my computer, but I really don't think it really factored into the entertainment value of the movie.
G'day, mate.
Monday, January 8, 2007
Wild Card Weekend 2006
Review day. If you haven't already done so, go back and read the post about winning and the post about cruise control. Actually, not that kind of review. I'll review the NFL wild card games from this weekend, along with Snakes on a Plane.
Starting with the Indianapolis Colts vs the Kansas City Chiefs. I had to think for twenty seconds to come up with the Colts' opponent on Saturday, and that's basically how the game went. Colts offense and defense stuck in your mind as a "hmmm, I should have picked them in my fantasy playoffs", and Kansas City only made one think, "why were they in the playoffs?" Heck, KC didn't even get a first down until the third quarter. Unfortunately, because Denver honked their last regular season game in dramatic fashion, a game they should have tied to make it to Indy or won to make it to New England, Kansas City was able to put up a snoozer against a much stronger opponent.
Saturday night's game was far better. And by better, I mean closer. Clearly, neither team really wanted the win. Action was pretty dismal until the third quarter, when Seattle finally scored a TD, only to kick off and have Dallas return it for a TD. At several points in the fourth quarter, I thought to myself, "Dallas has this game wrapped up." Until the last FG attempt was botched by Dallas, I never once thought Seattle had the game tied up. Messy, but it made for an exciting game. Ironically, when Dallas was making the last drive that ended up setting up the botched FG attempt, I told the buddies I was watching the game with that, if there are two coaches in the league who wouldn't want to leave the game up to their kickers and try to win the game with regular offense and defense, it's Parcells and Holmgren. Unfortunately, Holmgren's so damn conservative that he'd have never called the play that Parcells called. Third and long, Parcells called pass, and they completed, almost gaining a first down. He was forced to kick, and the snap was mishandled by the pro bowler Tony Romo. Doh! Seahawks win, even though Holmgren still had trouble running out the clock. On a side note, ESPN's drive chart and play-by-play are less than stellar for this game.
Sundays first game was New England vs the Jets. This game was going fairly well for the Jets until halftime or so. Then, the more powerful New England team just overpowered them. Oh well, for a half, the Jets looked like they could spring the upset, but luck ran out.
Sunday's second game was another NFC battle that took until the last two minutes of the game to decide. Actually, I believe it took until the last two seconds of the game to decide, an Akers FG pushing the Eagles over the top at the end of regulation. This game was a rather frustrating one to watch. A few big plays, but it mostly seemed to be a fight in the trenches. The fourth quarter, coming down to the last-second field goal, was alright, but watching a backup quarterback in Garcia, and an even worse QB in Eli just didn't make for much excitement.
What do the weekend's games tell me? Well, teams 5 and 6 in the AFC just don't cut it against the big boys, but the two AFC games next weekend should be fun. Teams 3-6 in the NFC are all rather lackluster, struggling to beat each other. And I've got news for ya. I've watched most of the Bears games this season, owing to my buddy being a Bears fan, and me watching many weeks of football at his place this season. The Bears can play some good defense and specials teams consistently, but that offense is such a mess that they'll be lucky to pull out one win. I wouldn't put it by them to honk their first game, and do it in grand fashion. As much as it pains me to say, I think New Orleans may be the only "elite" team in the NFC. "Elite" NFC team means getting beaten 35-16 in the Super Bowl. The mid-2000's NFC is like the late-80's/early-90's AFC.
Uh, that took longer than I wanted it to. How 'bout we save that movie review for next time.
Keep yer chin up.
Starting with the Indianapolis Colts vs the Kansas City Chiefs. I had to think for twenty seconds to come up with the Colts' opponent on Saturday, and that's basically how the game went. Colts offense and defense stuck in your mind as a "hmmm, I should have picked them in my fantasy playoffs", and Kansas City only made one think, "why were they in the playoffs?" Heck, KC didn't even get a first down until the third quarter. Unfortunately, because Denver honked their last regular season game in dramatic fashion, a game they should have tied to make it to Indy or won to make it to New England, Kansas City was able to put up a snoozer against a much stronger opponent.
Saturday night's game was far better. And by better, I mean closer. Clearly, neither team really wanted the win. Action was pretty dismal until the third quarter, when Seattle finally scored a TD, only to kick off and have Dallas return it for a TD. At several points in the fourth quarter, I thought to myself, "Dallas has this game wrapped up." Until the last FG attempt was botched by Dallas, I never once thought Seattle had the game tied up. Messy, but it made for an exciting game. Ironically, when Dallas was making the last drive that ended up setting up the botched FG attempt, I told the buddies I was watching the game with that, if there are two coaches in the league who wouldn't want to leave the game up to their kickers and try to win the game with regular offense and defense, it's Parcells and Holmgren. Unfortunately, Holmgren's so damn conservative that he'd have never called the play that Parcells called. Third and long, Parcells called pass, and they completed, almost gaining a first down. He was forced to kick, and the snap was mishandled by the pro bowler Tony Romo. Doh! Seahawks win, even though Holmgren still had trouble running out the clock. On a side note, ESPN's drive chart and play-by-play are less than stellar for this game.
Sundays first game was New England vs the Jets. This game was going fairly well for the Jets until halftime or so. Then, the more powerful New England team just overpowered them. Oh well, for a half, the Jets looked like they could spring the upset, but luck ran out.
Sunday's second game was another NFC battle that took until the last two minutes of the game to decide. Actually, I believe it took until the last two seconds of the game to decide, an Akers FG pushing the Eagles over the top at the end of regulation. This game was a rather frustrating one to watch. A few big plays, but it mostly seemed to be a fight in the trenches. The fourth quarter, coming down to the last-second field goal, was alright, but watching a backup quarterback in Garcia, and an even worse QB in Eli just didn't make for much excitement.
What do the weekend's games tell me? Well, teams 5 and 6 in the AFC just don't cut it against the big boys, but the two AFC games next weekend should be fun. Teams 3-6 in the NFC are all rather lackluster, struggling to beat each other. And I've got news for ya. I've watched most of the Bears games this season, owing to my buddy being a Bears fan, and me watching many weeks of football at his place this season. The Bears can play some good defense and specials teams consistently, but that offense is such a mess that they'll be lucky to pull out one win. I wouldn't put it by them to honk their first game, and do it in grand fashion. As much as it pains me to say, I think New Orleans may be the only "elite" team in the NFC. "Elite" NFC team means getting beaten 35-16 in the Super Bowl. The mid-2000's NFC is like the late-80's/early-90's AFC.
Uh, that took longer than I wanted it to. How 'bout we save that movie review for next time.
Keep yer chin up.
Friday, January 5, 2007
Backwoods Cruise Control
So the discussion last night over beers somehow turned to the worst invention I had ever seen. About ten years ago, I stopped at a gas station at an exit along the interstate and, as I was looking around, I saw this package for sale. It basically included a long, thin rod and a couple clamps, and it was meant to clamp onto your steering column and hold the thin rod down on your gas pedal. It was like a crude cruise control device.
Now, I can think of certain situations where it might be helpful to have such a device, but none of them involve actually DRIVING. I don't remember much about the device or even the packaging, but I know I was blown away by it because it was evidently intended for driving. I can't even begin to imagine who dreams up the device, who decides they'll try to offer the device for sale in their store, or who buys the thing. If used for driving, the device would be extremely dangerous. I can't imagine ever trying to use one while driving. I've driven in some pretty flat/straight areas, but nowhere that I'd ever dream of using this device for cruise control purposes.
So in discussing where the gas station was, and that, as of a year and a half ago, they still sold them, one of my buddies said that there was a minimum security prison now at that exit. I said, "you know who's housed at that prison? People who have been convicted of involuntary manslaughter as a result of using the stupid cruise control device they bought at that gas station." We laughed heartily about that one, and then my buddies were discussing buying one the next time they drove past that exit.
One of my buddies said that he was going to buy one the next time that he drove past that exit, to which I replied, "If you buy one for yourself, buy one for me. I need to have one, because I'm like Carrot Top." It was like Christmas for my buddies, who, despite knowing that I was playing on the prop-comedy routine of Carrot Top, decided to take it to extremes. They had quite the laugh about that one, deciding that I was nothing at all like Carrot Top. For one, I'm funny.
In other developments, the weekend is finally here. Friday afternoon is affectionately referred to as Fraturday in the circles where I run. It's kind of like before Christmas, where most people just get a little bit less focused/dedicated to work. That, and there's the big food coma going on right after lunch. It all adds up to lower levels of productivity on Fraturdays.
As a final note on the day/week, it's finally time to get back into shape. Basically, four months of doing progressively less and less is about to come to a screeching halt. We're going to lose weight, we're going to get a raise, we're going to set PRs, and we're going to be happy doing it. Well, I am.
C'ya Monday!
Now, I can think of certain situations where it might be helpful to have such a device, but none of them involve actually DRIVING. I don't remember much about the device or even the packaging, but I know I was blown away by it because it was evidently intended for driving. I can't even begin to imagine who dreams up the device, who decides they'll try to offer the device for sale in their store, or who buys the thing. If used for driving, the device would be extremely dangerous. I can't imagine ever trying to use one while driving. I've driven in some pretty flat/straight areas, but nowhere that I'd ever dream of using this device for cruise control purposes.
So in discussing where the gas station was, and that, as of a year and a half ago, they still sold them, one of my buddies said that there was a minimum security prison now at that exit. I said, "you know who's housed at that prison? People who have been convicted of involuntary manslaughter as a result of using the stupid cruise control device they bought at that gas station." We laughed heartily about that one, and then my buddies were discussing buying one the next time they drove past that exit.
One of my buddies said that he was going to buy one the next time that he drove past that exit, to which I replied, "If you buy one for yourself, buy one for me. I need to have one, because I'm like Carrot Top." It was like Christmas for my buddies, who, despite knowing that I was playing on the prop-comedy routine of Carrot Top, decided to take it to extremes. They had quite the laugh about that one, deciding that I was nothing at all like Carrot Top. For one, I'm funny.
In other developments, the weekend is finally here. Friday afternoon is affectionately referred to as Fraturday in the circles where I run. It's kind of like before Christmas, where most people just get a little bit less focused/dedicated to work. That, and there's the big food coma going on right after lunch. It all adds up to lower levels of productivity on Fraturdays.
As a final note on the day/week, it's finally time to get back into shape. Basically, four months of doing progressively less and less is about to come to a screeching halt. We're going to lose weight, we're going to get a raise, we're going to set PRs, and we're going to be happy doing it. Well, I am.
C'ya Monday!
Thursday, January 4, 2007
Winning is the only thing
Prognosticator of prognosticators. That's me. I am Punxsutawney Phil.
I found out Monday that I placed second overall in my confidence pool for the entire NFL season (48 people were entered). I took first place the final week to move up from 7th place to 2nd place. Also, I was tied for best straight pick percentage, ignoring weights (the first place finisher in the pool did not have the highest straight pick percentage). So, I can celebrate winning. I have some of the worst luck when it comes to games of chance, and confidence pools kind of qualify in that category, so it was a nice change of pace.
I bet that it also feels good to win money from such a venture. I wouldn't know, though, since gambling is illegal and immoral, and gambling earnings are taxable. Thus, the pool was not for money. But if it WAS for money, I'm sure that my 2nd overall finish plus winning week 17 and one other week would be good for some healthy cash. I'm sure it would actually be more lucrative than a day of work. One hundred percent positive, I am. Too bad I didn't win anything for my grand prognostications. Yeah, too bad.
I also got to bowl last night. I rolled a 215 and a 220, which are about 40 pins over my average game. I feel like a winner this week. Yay.
To celebrate my winning ways, I'm going to list several other people/groups who have recently been "winners":
Government Employees - What a way to start the new year. Free day off just because some old, unloved president died at the ripe young age of 93. Like we didn't see that coming? Besides, who becomes president having never even been elected as a VICE president? Mouring mediocrity, I say.
Chuck Norris - Need I say more?
Detroit Lions Fans - Matt Millen won't quit. The Lions don't lose the last game of the season , so they don't get the first pick in the draft. Most of the fans live in Detroit. Oh, crap. This is the winner's list, isn't it?
Terenzo Bozzone - Congrats to anyone who actually knows who this guy is. If you don't know who he is, just trust me, this guy is a winner. This is a scary, scary performance. And not an easy course either.
Lance Armstrong - Got out while the gettin' was good. Also appears in one of my favorite movies.
New Orleans Saints - Homeless and hard to watch in 2005. Playoff bye week and a better team than the first-seeded Bears in 2006.
J.K. Rowling - She could crap in a book and people would buy it. Probably for three times what it's worth on eBay.
Will Ferrell - See J.K. Rowling. Replace book with movie.
Neptune - Now it will always be the furthest planet from the sun, not just 20 of every 248 (Earth) years.
Colonel Sanders - Still making us crave his eleven herbs and spices, many years later.
SNL - While I don't watch it anymore, it's apparently getting funny again, with recent YouTube hits "Lazy Sunday" and "Dick in a Box".
L.A. Style - It only took 15 years, but their original hit song finally comes to fruition.
Keep it real.
I found out Monday that I placed second overall in my confidence pool for the entire NFL season (48 people were entered). I took first place the final week to move up from 7th place to 2nd place. Also, I was tied for best straight pick percentage, ignoring weights (the first place finisher in the pool did not have the highest straight pick percentage). So, I can celebrate winning. I have some of the worst luck when it comes to games of chance, and confidence pools kind of qualify in that category, so it was a nice change of pace.
I bet that it also feels good to win money from such a venture. I wouldn't know, though, since gambling is illegal and immoral, and gambling earnings are taxable. Thus, the pool was not for money. But if it WAS for money, I'm sure that my 2nd overall finish plus winning week 17 and one other week would be good for some healthy cash. I'm sure it would actually be more lucrative than a day of work. One hundred percent positive, I am. Too bad I didn't win anything for my grand prognostications. Yeah, too bad.
I also got to bowl last night. I rolled a 215 and a 220, which are about 40 pins over my average game. I feel like a winner this week. Yay.
To celebrate my winning ways, I'm going to list several other people/groups who have recently been "winners":
Government Employees - What a way to start the new year. Free day off just because some old, unloved president died at the ripe young age of 93. Like we didn't see that coming? Besides, who becomes president having never even been elected as a VICE president? Mouring mediocrity, I say.
Chuck Norris - Need I say more?
Detroit Lions Fans - Matt Millen won't quit. The Lions don't lose the last game of the season , so they don't get the first pick in the draft. Most of the fans live in Detroit. Oh, crap. This is the winner's list, isn't it?
Terenzo Bozzone - Congrats to anyone who actually knows who this guy is. If you don't know who he is, just trust me, this guy is a winner. This is a scary, scary performance. And not an easy course either.
Lance Armstrong - Got out while the gettin' was good. Also appears in one of my favorite movies.
New Orleans Saints - Homeless and hard to watch in 2005. Playoff bye week and a better team than the first-seeded Bears in 2006.
J.K. Rowling - She could crap in a book and people would buy it. Probably for three times what it's worth on eBay.
Will Ferrell - See J.K. Rowling. Replace book with movie.
Neptune - Now it will always be the furthest planet from the sun, not just 20 of every 248 (Earth) years.
Colonel Sanders - Still making us crave his eleven herbs and spices, many years later.
SNL - While I don't watch it anymore, it's apparently getting funny again, with recent YouTube hits "Lazy Sunday" and "Dick in a Box".
L.A. Style - It only took 15 years, but their original hit song finally comes to fruition.
Keep it real.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Got gas? Put a cap on it.
So what kind of person are you? If you were filling up your vehicle with gas next to another vehicle, and that person got finished filling up his/her vehicle, and was starting to drive away with the gas cap still open, flopping around attached only by its keeper cord, would you expend effort to notify the person of said gas cap?
Not surprisingly, this very situation happened to me a couple days ago. What did I do? I stood right where I was (since I had a line of sight to the driver at that point), pointed at the vehicle's gas cap, and said aloud, "your gas cap." Not loudly enough for the driver to hear, but enough to make the lip motion, so he'd know I was trying to tell him something. Then, I went back to looking at my own vehicle filling up, while he got out and fixed his gas cap.
Back to the original question, would I expend effort to notify a person of an open gas cap? I can, based on the above experience, answer a resounding "maybe". You may be a little confused by the answer, but let me elaborate. For me, I think it all depends. I mean, if the driver was a gorgeous woman, I'd have obviously tried to make her aware of an open gas cap. I mean, I already unscrew the gas caps on vehicles driven by beautiful women just so I can draw their attention to it, so it stands to reason that I would also draw their attention to it if it was their own fault. Actually, I don't, but it gives me a new idea for meeting women, so I'll have to keep that in mind.
But really, in the situation I was in, I had the perfect situation to "help" this person. The driver was a black male (I am a white male), driving a vehicle which was more expensive than mine, yet similar, made by the same manufacturer, and he was dressed nicer than I was. I also did not have to go out of my way to help. All I needed to do was point and motion with my mouth, at which point, I could merely turn back around. I also knew, because of the similarity of our vehicles, that his vehicle would at some point (between 1/4 and 3/4 of a tank of gas) notify him via a monitoring system on the suction pressure of the gas tank that there was something wrong. Also, it was obvious to me that the gas cap was open, and would be to him the next time he exited his vehicle. On the other hand, it could be somewhat dangerous to have an open gas cap. From the driver's appearance, I didn't feel threatened, and I didn't think he'd feel threatened by me or my actions.
It was really a win-win situation for both myself and the other driver. In another scenario, I might not have gone out of my way to help. Had the black male driver (or a white male driver, for that matter) been driving a piece-of-shit-car, and been dressed like they were heading to the ghetto to sell or buy some crack, I may have just ignored the situation. Likewise, if I had to, say, walk to the next island to catch the driver's attention, I may not have bothered.
Now, In general, I'm a helpful, pleasant, nice person. It's not even my own opinion. I have people tell me that all the time. (Side note: with these qualities, I'm not so sure why I am always single -- women must like aggressive assholes for some reason.) Yet, looking back on the situation, I can only think, "I might not do the same thing next time."
Stay dry, Seattle.
Not surprisingly, this very situation happened to me a couple days ago. What did I do? I stood right where I was (since I had a line of sight to the driver at that point), pointed at the vehicle's gas cap, and said aloud, "your gas cap." Not loudly enough for the driver to hear, but enough to make the lip motion, so he'd know I was trying to tell him something. Then, I went back to looking at my own vehicle filling up, while he got out and fixed his gas cap.
Back to the original question, would I expend effort to notify a person of an open gas cap? I can, based on the above experience, answer a resounding "maybe". You may be a little confused by the answer, but let me elaborate. For me, I think it all depends. I mean, if the driver was a gorgeous woman, I'd have obviously tried to make her aware of an open gas cap. I mean, I already unscrew the gas caps on vehicles driven by beautiful women just so I can draw their attention to it, so it stands to reason that I would also draw their attention to it if it was their own fault. Actually, I don't, but it gives me a new idea for meeting women, so I'll have to keep that in mind.
But really, in the situation I was in, I had the perfect situation to "help" this person. The driver was a black male (I am a white male), driving a vehicle which was more expensive than mine, yet similar, made by the same manufacturer, and he was dressed nicer than I was. I also did not have to go out of my way to help. All I needed to do was point and motion with my mouth, at which point, I could merely turn back around. I also knew, because of the similarity of our vehicles, that his vehicle would at some point (between 1/4 and 3/4 of a tank of gas) notify him via a monitoring system on the suction pressure of the gas tank that there was something wrong. Also, it was obvious to me that the gas cap was open, and would be to him the next time he exited his vehicle. On the other hand, it could be somewhat dangerous to have an open gas cap. From the driver's appearance, I didn't feel threatened, and I didn't think he'd feel threatened by me or my actions.
It was really a win-win situation for both myself and the other driver. In another scenario, I might not have gone out of my way to help. Had the black male driver (or a white male driver, for that matter) been driving a piece-of-shit-car, and been dressed like they were heading to the ghetto to sell or buy some crack, I may have just ignored the situation. Likewise, if I had to, say, walk to the next island to catch the driver's attention, I may not have bothered.
Now, In general, I'm a helpful, pleasant, nice person. It's not even my own opinion. I have people tell me that all the time. (Side note: with these qualities, I'm not so sure why I am always single -- women must like aggressive assholes for some reason.) Yet, looking back on the situation, I can only think, "I might not do the same thing next time."
Stay dry, Seattle.
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