Backwoods Cruise Control

So the discussion last night over beers somehow turned to the worst invention I had ever seen. About ten years ago, I stopped at a gas station at an exit along the interstate and, as I was looking around, I saw this package for sale. It basically included a long, thin rod and a couple clamps, and it was meant to clamp onto your steering column and hold the thin rod down on your gas pedal. It was like a crude cruise control device.

Now, I can think of certain situations where it might be helpful to have such a device, but none of them involve actually DRIVING. I don't remember much about the device or even the packaging, but I know I was blown away by it because it was evidently intended for driving. I can't even begin to imagine who dreams up the device, who decides they'll try to offer the device for sale in their store, or who buys the thing. If used for driving, the device would be extremely dangerous. I can't imagine ever trying to use one while driving. I've driven in some pretty flat/straight areas, but nowhere that I'd ever dream of using this device for cruise control purposes.

So in discussing where the gas station was, and that, as of a year and a half ago, they still sold them, one of my buddies said that there was a minimum security prison now at that exit. I said, "you know who's housed at that prison? People who have been convicted of involuntary manslaughter as a result of using the stupid cruise control device they bought at that gas station." We laughed heartily about that one, and then my buddies were discussing buying one the next time they drove past that exit.

One of my buddies said that he was going to buy one the next time that he drove past that exit, to which I replied, "If you buy one for yourself, buy one for me. I need to have one, because I'm like Carrot Top." It was like Christmas for my buddies, who, despite knowing that I was playing on the prop-comedy routine of Carrot Top, decided to take it to extremes. They had quite the laugh about that one, deciding that I was nothing at all like Carrot Top. For one, I'm funny.

In other developments, the weekend is finally here. Friday afternoon is affectionately referred to as Fraturday in the circles where I run. It's kind of like before Christmas, where most people just get a little bit less focused/dedicated to work. That, and there's the big food coma going on right after lunch. It all adds up to lower levels of productivity on Fraturdays.

As a final note on the day/week, it's finally time to get back into shape. Basically, four months of doing progressively less and less is about to come to a screeching halt. We're going to lose weight, we're going to get a raise, we're going to set PRs, and we're going to be happy doing it. Well, I am.

C'ya Monday!